Fear of Falling
I fell attempting a new pose this week. I actually didn’t just fall, I fell on my face. In a crowded gym. In front of people I was convinced were paying attention.
I have always struggled with struggling. I want to be good at whatever I attempt, immediately. It doesn’t matter if it’s something I’ve never tried before, I just expect myself to be good at it. Sometimes when I’m not, it’s really tough not to just write it off as I can’t do such-and-such and leave it at that. Not an expert immediately? It’s dead to me.
But I know there is growth in the process, and for most things, I can improve, even if I never get to expert level. (Boo.) So I try new things. I attempt a new recipe. I agree to give a public presentation. I go for a new yoga pose in a gym full people.
And I fall.
Sure, it hurt my face, but it bruised my ego more. I tried to do that thing adults do when they’ve hurt themselves and they want to pretend it’s all fine and probably won’t even leave a mark and yes you do like Jessica’s leggings and you too wonder where she got them. I got up and did a couple sun salutations and got into a modification of the pose I was attempting. I set my gaze and focused on my breath. And as I was holding baby grasshopper instead of the full-on grasshopper, one of the gym-goers walked by and said, “I wish I could do that!”
Progress not perfection. Don’t be so afraid to fall, that you don’t even try. Bruises are cool and modifications are awesome and strangers can be encouraging. Aim for the jump you don’t know if you’ll land. Falling isn’t the end; it’s just part of the journey.
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