Note: We’re celebrating our contributors with a double dose of fun today! If you’ve ever traveled with young ones in the car, you might think they’ve been coached by Jules, a young writer who knows just what (not) to do on a road trip with your family.
During a road trip:
Ask “How much longer?” right as the car starts. Repeat question every five minutes the entire trip or until threatened by parent. When your sibling says they’re hot, instantly state that you’re cold. Continually poke said sibling, and when they smack you, cry. Whine that you’re starving, and when your parents stop and get you food, take exactly one bite and proceed to drop the rest in the car. Remember to stash the trash in every available cup holder. Immediately afterwards, announce that you don’t feel good. Promptly roll the windows down on the highway. When the car is on a deserted road in the middle of nowhere, suddenly have to use the bathroom.
At night:
Have boundless energy. Bounce around, talk loudly, and kick the back of your mom’s seat. While your dad pumps gas, don’t forget to try your very best to slide open the minivan door. Make sure to point and shout every time you see a plane. When you arrive to your destination, become suspiciously tired and have to be carried inside.
On the way back from the beach:
Be sure to track sand into the car. Once inside, shake your wet hair like a dog, splattering the windows. Then, start off the trip back by crying about your sunburn while stubbornly ignoring the fact that your mother told you wear sunscreen. Make sure the fish you smuggled in is still in its bucket of water. When the car turns, spill the water out of the bucket. Cry about the death of the fish. When you reach your house, notice that you left your towel at the beach.
On the way to an important event:
Slowly crawl into the car because you want everyone to be late for no reason whatsoever. Once inside, violently squirm in your seat because you are uncomfortable in your fancy clothing, resulting in you spilling juice on your sister’s white lace dress. After being yelled at by parents, sit quietly the rest of the way. Then, right as the car is pulling up to your destination, realize you aren’t wearing shoes.
-Jules
